So, some of this will sound odd to traditional investors, and you might want to look away now.  

My algorithm scans the US and European markets for patterns. It checks the historical data of each stock and makes it jump through a series of hoops.  If the stock successfully gets through the hoops and satisfies the patterns it is then judged by a panel of experts and given a score out of 10.  Did I say panel? Yes, you guessed it, that's me. And I'm a software engineer….  

I've heard of value stocks, cyclical, market cap, alpha and loads of financial terms. But that's not what's going on here.  I'm looking for rock-steady, straight-line, mathematical, predictable share price growth.  And I don't care about anything else.  I'm relying on others doing the donkey work, and those donkeys, once they've done their work will invest, and all that investment drives up the price in a nice steady manner.  All I need to do is spot what those donkeys are up to.

And those donkeys are everywhere right now according to my algorithm.  So, on 5th August, I bought 63 different stocks. OMG. I can feel your shock. I can hear your inwardly moving breath. Even I'm a bit taken in with the enormity of it. But hell, it's only Ed's money. Or rather my money that he sensibly gave to me - and he doesn't care so why should I? 

And anyway we've already made 6%.